


How Thor and Hulk Get Ready for a Party

by sciencebutch



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, in which hulk is not a coward and actually attends the events he's invited to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 05:59:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16570970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencebutch/pseuds/sciencebutch
Summary: this is short and dum





	How Thor and Hulk Get Ready for a Party

**Author's Note:**

> this is short and dum

It would be apt to say that the Hulk leads a rather unorthodox lifestyle - in fact, some would argue that that is an outright understatement, and their argument would indubitably be well-founded. Yes, his way of life is quite unconventional in comparison to those who aren’t as green, or who are smaller and more squishy, or whose gamma rad levels are decidedly on the more average side. But being a manifestation of childhood trauma that breaks the Law of Conservation of Mass simply by existing can do that to a person, unfortunately. And it certainly doesn’t help that he’s holed up in the brain of a definitely- _ not _ -mild-mannered-scientist for a good portion of the week.

Although, Banner has been getting nicer as of late; laxer in his time allotment for the Hulk’s... free time, as it were. Hulk believes it has something to do with Banner’s boyfriend, Thor, who also happens to be the Hulk’s boyfriend. It’s strange, their arrangement, but not as strange as other things that have happened.

The Hulk’s life is definitely a lot more exciting as well, what with all the guns and bombs and tanks and various other weapons the U.S. Military holds in its arsenal. And these guns and bombs and tanks have made it quite difficult for the Hulk to attend any parties, much less be invited to any, which is where this story really starts. 

Or, well, it starts with  _ Banner  _ being invited to a party (an uncommon occurrence for him also, due to his Nerd Status), and the scientist just hulking out so he didn’t have to go. Typical Banner behavior.

Hulk was well aware of the unsavory effect he had on people’s constitutions, especially on those who were unused to his presence. It’s just that people were rather prone to running away when they caught sight of him, with a lot of screaming and noise that did not improve his sour disposition. And on odd occasions there were guns. And bombs. And tanks. There were an abnormal amount of tanks in Hulk’s life.

To put it simply, people were afraid of him. So he was surprised when Tony had extended an invite to Banner’s greener side. Hulk had accepted it, of course; it would have been rude not to. Banner was rude, Hulk wasn’t.

So that’s how Hulk ended up in the mammoth walk-in closet that would be labyrinthine to someone of usual size and stature but was just large enough to accommodate him. He had to bend slightly to prevent his head from breaking through the ceiling.

(Though, it wouldn’t really matter, because the ceiling was already littered with holes from the times when he didn’t crouch and stood up straight to find himself staring at insulation and various electrical circuitry.)

Thor was with him, throwing various garments at his chest. They were the size of parachutes, but still fit well enough (the tailor was trembling too intensely to get any accurate measurements).

“This goes on...first,” Thor said as he threw an undershirt at Hulk. He didn’t sound all too sure of himself; the nuances of Midgardian formal attire still lost to him. Hulk trusted his judgment despite this, though. He rarely wore any clothing other than ripped pants. A vast pair of trousers were tossed his way, and Hulk noticed that they weren’t torn anywhere at all. He found this rather unusual, but put them on regardless.

Thor held up a cummerbund and gave it a very perplexed look. “And this…hm, this…I’m not really sure where this goes, to be honest.”

Hulk grunted in a way that communicated that he was just as clueless as Thor was. Thor shrugged and threw it over his shoulder, returning to the pile of clothing. 

A vest, a suit jacket, a belt, and a pair of black socks where all donned before Thor turned back to the Hulk. He whistled.

“You look amazing, dearest,” he gushed. It was very sappy. Hulk loved it. “You do need to tuck your shirt in, though.” Hulk set to work doing that, and once more Thor’s back faced him as he pulled an oblong-shaped piece of silk from a shopping bag. It was purple. 

“And now, for my least favorite part,” Thor cringed.

After 20 minutes of trying and eventually succeeding to tie a tie, Hulk was inclined to agree with Thor’s lukewarm sentiments.

Tony held the party in the penthouse, and it was one of those grandiloquent affairs filled with people of great power and conceit that those with less power and conceit could hardly stand. It was a party that Tony obviously didn’t plan. If he had, there would be a lot more hard alcohol and a lot less government officials. But alas, the former was absent and the latter was present and Tony was having a most dreadful time. Or he was, until the Hulk showed up. 

He entered the room with Thor at his elbow, donning the slightly ill-fitting suit. The purple tie hung loosely and oblique around his neck. His shoes were shined and polished, and his cummerbund was...missing. All in all, the Hulk looked rather dapper, considering the circumstances. Thor looked at him as if he was the most perfect thing in the world. Everyone else stared at him with feelings blatantly opposite to Thor’s. The music that JARVIS was playing stopped rather comedically, because Tony had implemented such features in his code. Some woman fainted, which Hulk thought only happened in cartoons. 

Thor was unfazed to the smothering silence of the room.

“Come, dear, they cater the  _ best _ ouers d'oeuvres,” Thor said, before taking Hulk’s hand and leading him through the crowd.

The ouers d’oeuvres, as it turned out, were pigs in a blanket. But they were made with focaccia bread and sprinkled with garlic, so it turns out that they were socially acceptable to serve at high end events such as these. 

Guests steered clear as they approached the refreshments table. They parted as Thor and Hulk danced (in the most liberal sense of the term). They watched as Thor (much to Tony’s jealous dismay) pulled out a flask of aged Asgardian whiskey and started to develop a buzz. The eyes of the crowd never left them as they began to make out. They stared as Hulk carried a flushed Thor out of the room and into a... more private area.

All in all, it wasn’t a bad night; though Hulk understands why Banner avoids parties - there was hardly any privacy at all.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr!


End file.
